The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

I recently reviewed The Five Love Languages of Children, which is an excellent book. It was so good, in fact, that I decided to read the one for married couples. It has to be stressed that one of the best things you can do for your children is to keep a strong marriage. The difficulties of divorce on children are well known. With parents who attachment parent, this often takes a lot of time. If not careful, sometimes a marriage will suffer. This is why I feel it important to read this book.

While most of us love our spouse and may even be trying to show our spouse love, it is possible that our spouse will not pick up on our love gestures and will therefore feel unloved. This is because our spouse speaks a different love language.

There are five love languages as evidenced by the title. They are physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service. One of these five things will speak the most love to your spouse. Usually, we try to show love in the way that we feel most loved, yet very rarely does a couple have the same love language.

It is possible to also be speaking your spouse’s love language, yet not speaking what the author calls the right dialect. For example, my love language is acts of service. I like thoughtful gestures, and I feel super alive, happy, stress free when our house is clean. I have to give my husband credit in that he does a lot of cleaning. From this book we found out, however, that it is not always the right dialect for me. I realized I feel most loved when the floors are clean and the kitchen counters and table are clean and the bed is made than when the laundry is done or the toilets cleaned. This was an important revelation for our marriage.

Conversely, we figured out my husband’s love language is words of affirmation. I usually show him love by acts of service… by keeping things clean, paying bills, planning meals, etc. I handle most of our lives’ responsibilities. I would think to myself, “What more does he want?” With this book, it dawned on me that I really don’t speak words of affirmation very well. I underestimate them and don’t give them my attention. Changing this takes conscience effort. We sat done and wrote out our needs, and it’s been worth it.

I love this entire concept of this author. He writes this information in such a relatable way. The book is an easy read, but more than likely, it will make a huge difference in your life.

When a family can begin speaking each other’s love languages, this family will be successful.

Check out Gary Chapman’s other books as well. There are several other marriage books as well as love languages book about God and for teenagers. Highly recommend!